Last night’s PTA meeting was a disaster. Not only did PTA president Roslyn Noseworthy break her own rule by bringing pudding to the meeting, she then proceeded to spill it all over my notes.
And it wasn’t just the pudding spill that made the evening chaotic. It seems as though everyone is concerned about the Holt girls, Madison and Reagan, who are a downright menace.
Former PTA president Leslie Middleton was the first to bring it up. “Last week, my daughter Doreen came home from soccer practice crying because Reagan kicked her in the shins,” Middleton told us. “And they are on the same team!”
Then Connor O’Bergstein said that his son, Junior Heavyweight Champion Chaim O’Bergstein, was bodychecked by Madison on the soccer field two weeks earlier—and he wasn’t even playing at the time.
Of the 24 active members of the PTA, 22 of them had complaints about the Holt girls. At age 14, Gillian Hansel will need to be fitted for dentures because of a headbutt from Madison. And, of course, we’re all hoping Ellen Dempsey is too scared to ever play soccer again.
It was at this point when Roslyn decided to form a committee to approach the Holt girls about their unsportswomanlike conduct. But everyone was afraid to join the committee, so then Roz decided to form a committee whose job it would be to form a committee to approach the Holt girls. No one joined that committee, either.
Fresh out of ideas, Roz said, “Well, I give up!” She then sat down and took out her pudding can. While opening it, the can slipped from her fingers and splattered pudding all over my notes. That was the messy conclusion to the meeting.