Jane Calloway of North Shore High writes:
“We’ve been studying the American Revolution for three months in my class. Yesterday, Katelyn O’Connor came up to me and asked, ‘Who won the war?’ I was so frustrated that I told her it was Iceland. I felt guilty for a few minutes, until I realized that she would forget what I told her by lunchtime.”
Helena Schiller of Thompson Falls Middle School writes:
“I asked my students to write reports on their favorite historical figure. I was very proud when I saw the results. Most were well researched and thoughtful. However, one of my students, Madison Holt, turned in the most ridiculous report on Annie Oakley. I’ve pasted the paper below. Enjoy!”
The Life and Times of Annie Oakley
By Madison Holt
Annie Oakley was a famous sharpshooter. That meant she could hit any target. She was the star of Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show and liked to shoot on horseback. I’m related to Annie Oakley so I wanted my research to be good. I don’t have a horse so I borrowed my neighbor’s dog, Frederick. I wanted to ride him and practice shooting my water gun, but Mrs. Carson called the police. She’s so stupid. Frederick liked playing horsie. He only bit me three times while I was putting on the saddle! Can I get extra credit for all this research?
Annie Oakley was such a good sharpshooter that her family sent her to Germany to assassinate the crown prince. He was a troublemaker and they wanted to get rid of him. But Annie totally wimped out and wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t have wimped out. I’m not afraid of anything! Except asparagus. I had this nightmare where a giant asparagus tried to eat me. But I punched it in the face. The end.
Jason Foreman of Crosswinds School writes:
“In art class today, lanyard making went terribly, terribly wrong. The students plotted against me! They wove their lanyards together to make a giant coil of rope and tied me to my desk! Oh, the horror, the horror . . .”