Yesterday afternoon, the police began receiving angry calls from residents of Sycamore Street. Witnesses reported seeing a girl in a purple tracksuit snatching neighborhood dogs from their yards. Naomi Hawleyton saw a “frightening little girl lift my Rottweiller pup over her head and leap the fence.”
By the time police arrived on the scene, the girl had tied eight stolen dogs to a sled and was trying to make them pull her down the icy street. Her “team” made it about half a block before Petunia the bulldog sat down and refused to move. The girl, later identified as Reagan Holt, age 11, began screaming at Petunia about “not letting the Clue freeze.”
When police asked Holt why she had stolen the dogs, she screamed, “Because I wanted to play Iditarod!” The girl’s mother, Mary-Todd Holt, explained that dogsledding is a “Holt family tradition” and that Reagan was just “honoring her heritage.”
Holt has been placed on probation. In a sad turn of events, Petunia has been sent to a canine therapist as she starts to shake whenever she sees the color purple.