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The Loch Ness Monster
- Background Information
I. Background Information
The Loch Ness Monster is the name of the legendary creature that lives in Scotland’s most famous lake, Loch Ness. The monster is also commonly known by its nickname, Nessie.
I know that people call this monster “Nessie” and mean it affectionately, but I don’t think we should – I don’t want to upset it.
Please, there is nothing new or upsetting about nicknaming monsters. Do you think the boogeyman sits down after a hard night’s work and is happy that children everywhere are calling him something that sounds like it’s dripping from your nose? I can’t believe you’re really that scared of it.
While there have been many Loch Ness Monster sightings, the scientific community has yet to determine what species it belongs to. Despite many photographs and sworn sightings of the creature, no physical proof has ever been found to support its existence – no bones, no tissue, nothing.
Again, I think we may want to watch the tone. I don’t want to upset this monster by saying it doesn’t exist.
I can’t believe this, you’re actually scared of it. Give me one hour and a color printer and I’ll give you “photographic” evidence of at least five previously unknown “monsters.”
The earliest documented sighting was on July 22, 1933 – an unsuspecting Mr. and Mrs. Spicer were driving between two Loch Ness- side villages, Dores and Inverfarigaig, when they saw the beast.
Kids – a general rule: When you are telling lies, skip the details. Too much detail makes you look like you’re trying too hard. Instead, you should say something like “The Loch Ness monster has been seen by many people for many years.”
Over the years, there have been many more sightings. For instance, Mr. Arthur Grant was driving on his motorcycle and almost collided with the beast. Since these earliest sightings, many people have become obsessed with finding Nessie. There have been countless expeditions to Scotland to find this famous creature.
IV. Myths / Legends
The most famous myth of the Loch Ness Monster is that it is slowly growing – one inch every year. This steady but unstoppable growth makes the monster unique, for no other animal/person/or thing can control its growth in this precise way.
SEE? How can you NOT be scared of something that keeps getting bigger and bigger and BIGGER.
If this myth is true, scientists predict that the monster will be 1,872,946,153 feet long by the year 3018.
The other commonly believed myth is that the monster’s skin is made of a very special rubberlike material that allows it to expand and shrink on command. This is what makes the monster so elusive and hard to track – when it wants to be big it can make itself as large as it chooses to be, but when it wants to be small, it can shrink to the size of a peanut.
Ah-ha! This must be why no one has found any evidence. Wouldn’t it be easier to just give up and admit it doesn’t exist? It’s a tourist trap!
Neither of these legends has been validated, but one thing remains clear. There is something about this Loch Ness, this Nessie, this mythic beast that keeps the world wondering where and what it is.